15 August, 2006

Living your life… Backwards…

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home,
  feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work,
   you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years, until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school,
   you become a kid,
   you play,
   and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury,
   in spa-like conditions
   - central heating, room service on tap,
   and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.

Living life backwards, by George Carlin (or Sean Morey, or Woody Allen).